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TED 想要快乐,首先你必须学会感恩! [复制链接]

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离线jenny
 

There is something you know about me, something very personal, and there is something I know about every one of you and that's very central to your concerns. There is something that we know about everyone we meet anywhere in the world, on the street, that is the very mainspring of whatever they do and whatever they put up with. And that is that all of us want to be happy. In this, we are all together. How we imagine our happiness, that differs from one another, but it's already a lot that we have all in common, that we want to be happy.
Now my topic is gratefulness. What is the connection between happiness and gratefulness? Many people would say, well, that's very easy. When you are happy, you are grateful. But think again. Is it really the happy people that are grateful? We all know quite a number of people who have everything that it would take to be happy, and they are not happy, because they want something else or they want more of the same. And we all know people who have lots of misfortune, misfortune that we ourselves would not want to have, and they are deeply happy. They radiate happiness. You are surprised. Why? Because they are grateful. So it is not happiness that makes us grateful. It's gratefulness that makes us happy. If you think it's happiness that makes you grateful, think again. It's gratefulness that makes you happy.
02:26
Now, we can ask, what do we really mean by gratefulness? And how does it work? I appeal to your own experience. We all know from experience how it goes. We experience something that's valuable to us. Something is given to us that's valuable to us. And it's really given. These two things have to come together. It has to be something valuable, and it's a real gift. You haven't bought it. You haven't earned it. You haven't traded it in. You haven't worked for it. It's just given to you. And when these two things come together, something that's really valuable to me and I realize it's freely given, then gratefulness spontaneously rises in my heart, happiness spontaneously rises in my heart. That's how gratefulness happens.
Now the key to all this is that we cannot only experience this once in a while. We cannot only have grateful experiences. We can be people who live gratefully. Grateful living, that is the thing. And how can we live gratefully? By experiencing, by becoming aware that every moment is a given moment, as we say. It's a gift. You haven't earned it. You haven't brought it about in any way. You have no way of assuring that there will be another moment given to you, and yet, that's the most valuable thing that can ever be given to us, this moment, with all the opportunity that it contains. If we didn't have this present moment, we wouldn't have any opportunity to do anything or experience anything, and this moment is a gift. It's a given moment, as we say.
Now, we say the gift within this gift is really the opportunity. What you are really grateful for is the opportunity, not the thing that is given to you, because if that thing were somewhere else and you didn't have the opportunity to enjoy it, to do something with it, you wouldn't be grateful for it. Opportunity is the gift within every gift, and we have this saying, opportunity knocks only once. Well, think again. Every moment is a new gift, over and over again, and if you miss the opportunity of this moment, another moment is given to us, and another moment. We can avail ourselves of this opportunity, or we can miss it, and if we avail ourselves of the opportunity, it is the key to happiness. Behold the master key to our happiness in our own hands. Moment by moment, we can be grateful for this gift.
Does that mean that we can be grateful for everything? Certainly not. We cannot be grateful for violence, for war, for oppression, for exploitation. On the personal level, we cannot be grateful for the loss of a friend, for unfaithfulness, for bereavement. But I didn't say we can be grateful for everything. I said we can be grateful in every given moment for the opportunity, and even when we are confronted with something that is terribly difficult, we can rise to this occasion and respond to the opportunity that is given to us. It isn't as bad as it might seem. Actually, when you look at it and experience it, you find that most of the time, what is given to us is the opportunity to enjoy, and we only miss it because we are rushing through life and we are not stopping to see the opportunity.
But once in a while, something very difficult is given to us, and when this difficult thing occurs to us, it's a challenge to rise to that opportunity, and we can rise to it by learning something which is sometimes painful. Learning patience, for instance. We have been told that the road to peace is not a sprint, but is more like a marathon. That takes patience. That's difficult. It may be to stand up for your opinion, to stand up for your conviction. That's an opportunity that is given to us. To learn, to suffer, to stand up, all these opportunities are given to us, but they are opportunities, and those who avail themselves of those opportunities are the ones that we admire. They make something out of life. And those who fail get another opportunity. We always get another opportunity. That's the wonderful richness of life.
So how can we find a method that will harness this? How can each one of us find a method for living gratefully, not just once in a while being grateful, but moment by moment to be grateful. How can we do it? It's a very simple method. It's so simple that it's actually what we were told as children when we learned to cross the street. Stop. Look. Go. That's all. But how often do we stop? We rush through life. We don't stop. We miss the opportunity because we don't stop. We have to stop. We have to get quiet. And we have to build stop signs into our lives.
When I was in Africa some years ago and then came back, I noticed water. In Africa where I was, I didn't have drinkable water. Every time I turned on the faucet, I was overwhelmed. Every time I clicked on the light, I was so grateful. It made me so happy. But after a while, this wears off. So I put little stickers on the light switch and on the water faucet, and every time I turned it on, water. So leave it up to your own imagination. You can find whatever works best for you, but you need stop signs in your life. And when you stop, then the next thing is to look. You look. You open your eyes. You open your ears. You open your nose. You open all your senses for this wonderful richness that is given to us. There is no end to it, and that is what life is all about, to enjoy, to enjoy what is given to us.
And then we can also open our hearts, our hearts for the opportunities, for the opportunities also to help others, to make others happy, because nothing makes us more happy than when all of us are happy. And when we open our hearts to the opportunities, the opportunities invite us to do something, and that is the third. Stop, look, and then go, and really do something. And what we can do is whatever life offers to you in that present moment. Mostly it's the opportunity to enjoy, but sometimes it's something more difficult.
But whatever it is, if we take this opportunity, we go with it, we are creative, those are the creative people. And that little stop, look, go, is such a potent seed that it can revolutionize our world. Because we are at the present moment in the middle of a change of consciousness, and you will be surprised if you -- I am always surprised when I hear how many times this word "gratefulness" and "gratitude" comes up. Everywhere you find it, a grateful airline, a restaurant gratefulness, a café gratefulness, a wine that is gratefulness. Yes, I have even come across a toilet paper whose brand is called "Thank You."
There is a wave of gratefulness because people are becoming aware how important this is and how this can change our world. It can change our world in immensely important ways, because if you're grateful, you're not fearful, and if you're not fearful, you're not violent. If you're grateful, you act out of a sense of enough and not of a sense of scarcity, and you are willing to share. If you are grateful, you are enjoying the differences between people, and you are respectful to everybody, and that changes this power pyramid under which we live.
And it doesn't make for equality, but it makes for equal respect, and that is the important thing. The future of the world will be a network, not a pyramid turned upside down. The revolution of which I am speaking is a nonviolent revolution, and it's so revolutionary that it even revolutionizes the very concept of a revolution, because the normal revolution is one where the power pyramid is turned upside down and those who were on the bottom are now on the top and are doing exactly the same thing that the ones before. What we need is a networking of smaller groups, smaller and smaller groups who know one another, who interact with one another, and that is a grateful world.
A grateful world is a world of joyful people. Grateful people are joyful people, and joyful people -- the more and more joyful people there are, the more and more we'll have a joyful world. We have a network for grateful living, and it has mushroomed. We couldn't understand why it mushroomed. We have an opportunity for people to light a candle when they are grateful for something. And there have been 15 million candles lit in one decade. People are becoming aware that a grateful world is a happy world, and we all have the opportunity by the simple stop, look, go, to transform the world, to make it a happy place. And that is what I hope for us, and if this has contributed a little to making you want to do the same, stop, look, go.Thank you.
有些事情 关于我的,是些非常私人的问题 还有一些我知道 是你们每一个人 最关心的问题 有些我们知道 关于我们在世界上任何地方遇见的所有人 在街上 那是他们做某些事,和忍受某些事情 最主要的动力 那是他们做某些事,和忍受某些事情 最主要的动力 那是他们做某些事,和忍受某些事情 最主要的动力 那就是,我们所有人 都想要快乐。 就这个问题而言,我们是一样的 我们如何想象我们的快乐 与别人不同的快乐 但是我们最重要的共同点是 我们想要变得快乐
我的话题关于感恩 快乐和感恩之间 有着怎样的联系? 很多人会说,恩,这很容易 当你快乐的时候,你就心存感激 但是,请再想一想 快乐的人是心存感激的,真的是这样吗? 我们知道,很多人 他们拥有应该令他们感到快乐的东西 但他们并不快乐 因为他们想要其他的东西 或者他们想要更多自己已有的东西 我们都知道 有些遭遇很多不幸的人 这些不幸是我们完全不想沾染的 但他们却深深地感到快乐 他们散播欢乐。你会感到惊讶 为什么?因为他们懂得感恩 所以,并不是快乐让我们有感激之情 而是感恩之心让我们快乐 如果你认为是快乐让你心存感激 再想一想。 是感恩让你快乐。
现在,我们可以问, 对我们来说,感激的意义是什么? 它是怎么发生的? 我希望你们能想到自己的经验 我们可以从自己的经验中了解到它是如何运作的 我们经历了一些 对我们来说重要的事情 一些我们收到的,并且对我们而言很宝贵的东西。 而且,是真正由别人给予的。 这两个条件必须同时存在 这件事物必须是重要的 而且是一份礼物 不是你买的,也不是你挣来的。 不是你买卖得来的,也不是你工作得来的 只是单纯的给予了你。 当这两个条件同时符合时, 这东西对我很有价值 我意识到这完全是馈赠 感恩之心油然 出现在我心里 快乐也同时出现在我心里 这就是感激如何发生的。
这一切的关键点在于 我们不能仅仅体会到单一的感觉。 我们不能只有感激的经验。 我们可以是那些存有感恩生活着的人 感恩地活着,就是这样 那么我们如何能感恩地生活呢? 通过经历,意识到 我们的每秒每刻都是被给予的 这是上天的礼物。不是你挣来的。 它不是你透过任何方式带来的 你无法确定 你会被赠予其他的时刻 但是,那就是能赠与我们最有价值的东西。 但是,那就是能赠与我们最有价值的东西。 以及尾随这个时刻而来的各种契机。 如果我们没有现在这个时刻 我们不会有任何机会 去做任何事,经历任何事 而这个时刻,就是一个礼物 就像我们所说的那样, 它是被赠与的
现在,我们说礼物中的礼物 就是机会 你真正感激的,是这个机会 而不是那个你收到的东西。 因为如果那个东西在别处 而你没有机会享受它 来体会它 你就不会觉得感恩 机会是礼物中的礼物 我们有这样的谚语 机会只有一次 那么,再想一想 每个时刻都是一个新的礼物,周而复始 如果你错失了这个时刻给予你的机会 另外的时刻总是会出现 我们可以利用这个机会 或者我们也可以错失它 如果我们把握这个机会 那就是让我们快乐的关键所在 通往快乐大门的钥匙 在我们手中 每分每秒 我们感谢这个礼物
可是,那意味着 我们会对世间一切都心存感激吗? 当然不是 我们不会感谢暴力,战争, 镇压,剥削的存在 个人层面上看,我们不会感恩 朋友的离去,不忠 丧友丧亲之痛 但我并没有说我们要对 世间一切心怀感恩 我的意思是,我们感谢 每一个时刻背后所带来的机会 即使当我们面对 极其困难的问题 我们可以回想起这个给予我们的机会 然后对它做出回应 它可能没有看起来那么糟 事实上,当你检视并经历它之后 你会发现,给予我们的大部分时刻 都是让我们乐在其中的机遇 我们之所以错失它 是因为我们急着过自己的生活 我们没有停下来看看这个机会
可是偶尔 一些非常困难的事情发生了 当这些困难出现时, 这个机遇,就是一种挑战 它会让我们学到些什么 有时是痛苦的 例如,学着有耐心 我们知道,通往自由的道路 不是短跑 更像是一场马拉松 那需要耐心。那是困难的 它也有可能是捍卫自己的观点立场 捍卫自己的信念 这就是给予我们的机会 去学习,去遭遇,去坚持 所有这些给予我们的机会 但是,它们是机会 那些自己 抓住机遇的人 是我们所尊重的 他们从生活中获得了些什么 那些失败的人, 也总能获得其它的机会 我们总能获得额外的机会 那就是生活中美好与丰富之处
那我们要如何找到善用机会 的方法呢? 我们每个人如何能找到 生活中存有感恩之心的方法 不是某一次感到感恩 而是每时每刻都心存感激 我们要如何做到呢? 这是一个非常简单的方法 方法如此简单, 就像小时候大人教我们 如何过马路一样 停下来,看一看,向前走 就是这样 我们多久才停下来? 我们急着过自己的生活。我们从不停歇 我们错失机会因为我们没有停下来 我们必须停下脚步,安静下来 我们要在人生旅途中 时刻提醒自己停下来
很多年前,我去了非洲 回来之后 我意识到水的存在 在非洲,我没有可以饮用的安全水源 每当我看到水龙头的时候 我受宠若惊 每次我打开电灯开关的时候 我心怀感恩,非常开心 可过了一阵子,我就不再注意到这些了 所以我在灯的开关上, 水龙头边贴了一些小贴纸 每次我看到它们就会感受到 所以请根据自己的情况自由想象 你会找到对你来说最好的方式 但你要提醒自己时常停下来 当你停下来的时候 下一件事就是看一看 你看一看,你睁开眼睛 你打开耳朵。你张开嘴巴 你打开身体的感知系统 感知那些精彩丰富的事情 这是没有止境的 这就是人生的意义 来享受,享受我们被给予的一切
10:06
我们也可以敞开心扉 迎接机遇 那些能够帮助他人的机会 让他人开心,因为 没有什么比所有人都开心 更值得高兴的了 当我们敞开心扉迎接机遇的时候 这些机遇会邀请我们做一些事情 那就是第三件事 停下来,看一看,向前走,然后真正地去做一些事情 我们能做的是 认真过生命在当下提供的选择。 大多时候,那是去享受的机会 但有时,是更困难的事
但不管是什么,如果我们抓住了这个机会 我们就去完成它, 我们是有创造性的 人们有创造力 而那个停下来,看一看,向前走 是赋有潜力的种子 那种子甚至可以改变我们的世界 因为我们需要,我们在这个时刻 我们在感知发生变化的过程中 你会感到惊讶,当你-- 我时常感到惊讶,当我多次听到 感恩和感激这些词汇的出现 你可以在任何地方找到 一个“心存感恩”的航空公司, 一家“心存感恩”的餐厅 一间“充满感激之情”的咖啡馆, 一款“充满感激之情”的葡萄酒 确实,我曾见过一款厕纸 “感谢”牌的厕纸 “感恩”的浪潮席卷而来,是因为 人们已经开始意识到 感恩有多么重要 并且感恩是如何能改变我们的世界 感恩可以改变我们的世界 以诸多种重要的方式 因为当你心存感激,你不会恐惧 如果你不恐惧,你就会平和 如果你心存感激,你会表现出满足感, 而不是短缺的模样 你会更乐于分享 如果你心存感激 你会欣赏人与人间的不同 并且你尊重每个人 这会改变我们生活中的 权利金字塔结构
它无法创造平等的 却能带来平等尊重 而这是最重要的事 未来的世界将会是一个网状物 不是金字塔,也不是倒过来的金字塔 我所说的革命 是非暴力的革命 它是如此具有革命性 它甚至革命性地改变了 革命的概念 因为一个普通的革命 是权利金字塔倒转过来 那些底层的人站在了顶尖 然后做了和以前在金字塔顶尖的人 一模一样的事情 我们需要的是小群组的网络 小型的群组相互知晓 相互沟通 那将是一个充满感恩的世界
一个感恩的世界,是 生活在其中的人,都感到愉悦。 有感恩之心的人是快乐的人 快乐的人 人们越来越快乐 我们才越会有一个愉快的世界 我们有一个感恩地生活的网络 它迅速增长 我们不明白为什么它增长如此迅速 当人们对某事“心存感激”时 他们就可以点亮一根蜡烛 在十年内点亮了 总计一千五百万蜡烛 人们开始意识到 感恩的世界是快乐的世界 我们都有机会 只需要简单地停下来,看一看,向前走 来改变世界 让世界变得更美好快乐 这就是我所希望的, 如果(我的演讲)能够为你带来 一点点动力,做这件事 停下来,看一看,向前走。谢谢。
https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/fwpD6RIJ6kcoA2IXPfJOKQ


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