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TED:女人,不要完美,但一定要勇敢 [复制链接]

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So a few years ago, I did something really brave, or some would say really stupid. I ran forCongress.
For years, I had existed safely behind the scenes in politics as a fundraiser, as an organizer, butin my heart, I always wanted to run. The sitting congresswoman had been in my district since1992. She had never lost a race, and no one had really even run against her in a Democraticprimary. But in my mind, this was my way to make a difference, to disrupt the status quo. Thepolls, however, told a very different story.
My pollsters told me that I was crazy to run, thatthere was no way that I could win.
But I ran anyway, and in 2012, I became an upstart in a New York City congressional race. Iswore I was going to win. I had the endorsement from the New York Daily News, the WallStreet Journal snapped pictures of me on election day, and CNBC called it one of the hottestraces in the country. I raised money from everyone I knew, including Indian aunties that werejust so happy an Indian girl was running.
But on election day, the polls were right, and I only got19 percent of the vote, and the same papers that said I was a rising political star now said Iwasted 1.3 million dollars on 6,321 votes. Don't do the math. It was humiliating.
Now, before you get the wrong idea, this is not a talk about the importance of failure. Nor is itabout leaning in. I tell you the story of how I ran for Congress because I was 33 years old and itwas the first time in my entire life that I had done something that was truly brave, where I didn'tworry about being perfect.
And I'm not alone: so many women I talk to tell me that they gravitate towards careers andprofessions that they know they're going to be great in, that they know they're going to beperfect in, and it's no wonder why. Most girls are taught to avoid risk and failure. We're taught tosmile pretty, play it safe, get all A's. Boys, on the other hand, are taught to play rough, swinghigh, crawl to the top of the monkey bars and then just jump off headfirst. And by the timethey're adults, whether they're negotiating a raise or even asking someone out on a date,they're habituated to take risk after risk. They're rewarded for it. It's often said in Silicon Valley,no one even takes you seriously unless you've had two failed start-ups. In other words, we'reraising our girls to be perfect, and we're raising our boys to be brave.
Some people worry about our federal deficit, but I, I worry about our bravery deficit.Oureconomy, our society, we're just losing out because we're not raising our girls to be brave. Thebravery deficit is why women are underrepresented in STEM, in C-suites, in boardrooms, inCongress, and pretty much everywhere you look.
In the 1980s, psychologist Carol Dweck looked at how bright fifth graders handled an assignmentthat was too difficult for them. She found that bright girls were quick to give up. The higher theIQ, the more likely they were to give up. Bright boys, on the other hand, found the difficultmaterial to be a challenge. They found it energizing. They were more likely to redouble theirefforts.
What's going on? Well, at the fifth grade level, girls routinely outperform boys in every subject,including math and science, so it's not a question of ability. The difference is in how boys andgirls approach a challenge. And it doesn't just end in fifth grade. An HP report found that men willapply for a job if they meet only 60 percent of the qualifications, but women, women will applyonly if they meet 100 percent of the qualifications.
100 percent. This study is usually invoked asevidence that, well, women need a little more confidence. But I think it's evidence that womenhave been socialized to aspire to perfection, and they're overly cautious.
And even when we're ambitious, even when we're leaning in, that socialization of perfection hascaused us to take less risks in our careers. And so those 600,000 jobs that are open right now incomputing and tech, women are being left behind, and it means our economy is being leftbehind on all the innovation and problems women would solve if they were socialized to be braveinstead of socialized to be perfect.
So in 2012, I started a company to teach girls to code, and what I found is that by teachingthem to code I had socialized them to be brave. Coding, it's an endless process of trial anderror, of trying to get the right command in the right place, with sometimes just a semicolonmaking the difference between success and failure. Code breaks and then it falls apart, and itoften takes many, many tries until that magical moment when what you're trying to build comesto life. It requires perseverance. It requires imperfection.
We immediately see in our program our girls' fear of not getting it right, of not being perfect.Every Girls Who Code teacher tells me the same story. During the first week, when the girls arelearning how to code, a student will call her over and she'll say, "I don't know what code towrite." The teacher will look at her screen, and she'll see a blank text editor. If she didn't knowany better, she'd think that her student spent the past 20 minutes just staring at the screen.But if she presses undo a few times, she'll see that her student wrote code and then deleted it.She tried, she came close, but she didn't get it exactly right. Instead of showing the progressthat she made, she'd rather show nothing at all. Perfection or bust.
It turns out that our girls are really good at coding, but it's not enough just to teach them tocode.
My friend Lev Brie, who is a professor at the University of Columbia and teaches introto Javatells me about his office hours with computer science students. When the guys are strugglingwith an assignment, they'll come in and they'll say,
"Professor, there's something wrong with mycode." The girls will come in and say,
"Professor, there's something wrong with me."
We have to begin to undo the socialization of perfection, but we've got to combine it with buildinga sisterhood that lets girls know that they are not alone. Because trying harder is not going to fixa broken system. I can't tell you how many women tell me,
"I'm afraid to raise my hand, I'm afraid to ask a question, because I don't want to be the onlyone who doesn't understand, the only one who is struggling. When we teach girls to be braveand we have a supportive network cheering them on, they will build incredible things, and I seethis every day. Take, for instance, two of our high school students who built a game calledTampon Run -- yes, Tampon Run -- to fight against the menstruation taboo and sexism ingaming. Or the Syrian refugee who dared show her love for her new country by building an appto help Americans get to the polls. Or a 16-year-old girl who built an algorithm to help detectwhether a cancer is benign or malignant in the off chance that she can save her daddy's lifebecause he has cancer. These are just three examples of thousands, thousands of girls whohave been socialized to be imperfect, who have learned to keep trying, who have learned perseverance. And whether they become coders or the next Hillary Clinton or Beyoncé, they willnot defer their dreams.
And those dreams have never been more important for our country. For the America neconomy, for any economy to grow, to truly innovate, we cannot leave behind half ourpopulation. We have to socialize our girls to be comfortable with imperfection, and we've got todo it now.
We cannot wait for them to learn how to be brave like I did when I was 33 years old.We have to teach them to be brave in schools and early in their careers, when it has the mostpotential to impact their lives and the lives of others, and we have to show them that they will beloved and accepted not for being perfect but for being courageous. And so I need each of youto tell every young woman you know -- your sister, your niece, your employee, your colleague --to be comfortable with imperfection, because when we teach girls to be imperfect, and we helpthem leverage it, we will build a movement of young women who are brave and who will build abetter world for themselves and for each and every one of us.
Thank you.
Chris Anderson: Reshma, thank you. It's such a powerful vision you have. You have a vision.Tell me how it's going. How many girls are involved now in your program?
Reshma Saujani: Yeah. So in 2012, we taught 20 girls. This year we'll teach 40,000 in all 50states.
And that number is really powerful, because last year we only graduated 7,500 women incomputer science. Like, the problem is so bad that we can make that type of change quickly.
CA: And you're working with some of the companies in this room even, who are welcominggraduates from your program?
RS: Yeah, we have about 80 partners, from Twitter to Facebook to Adobe to IBM to Microsoftto Pixar to Disney, I mean, every single company out there. And if you're not signed up, I'mgoing to find you, because we need every single tech company to embed a Girls Who Codeclassroom in their office.
CA: And you have some stories back from some of those companies that when you mix in moregender balance in the engineering teams, good things happen.
RS: Great things happen. I mean, I think that it's crazy to me to think about the fact that rightnow 85 percent of all consumer purchases are made by women. Women use social media at arate of 600 percent more than men. We own the Internet, and we should be building thecompanies of tomorrow. And I think when companies have diverse teams, and they haveincredible women that are part of their engineering teams,they build awesome things, and wesee it every day.
CA: Reshma, you saw the reaction there. You're doing incredibly important work. This wholecommunity is cheering you on. More power to you. Thank you.
RS: Thank you.
几年前,我做了一些非常勇敢的事,或许有些人会说很愚蠢的事。我参选了国会议员。
很多年来,我安全地存在于政治活动背后。作为资金筹集人,作为组织者,但我的内心,我一直希望参选。我所在选区的国会议员女士,从1992年起担任这个职务。她从未输过一场选战,没有人真正认真地在民主选举中与她竞争。但在我心中,这就是我。创造不同的方式,改变现状。然而,民意调查,显示出完全不同的故事。我的民调专家告诉我,我要参选简直疯了,我不可能会赢。
但我还是参选了。在2012年,我成了崛起的新秀。参选纽约市国会竞选。我发誓我会赢。我得到了《纽约每日新闻》的认可,《华尔街日报》刊登了我在选举日的照片,美国全国广播公司财经频道称之为:全国范围内最热的选战。我从我认识的每个人那里筹钱,包括印度阿姨们,她们很高兴一个印度女生参选。但选举日,民调是对的,我只拿到了19%的选票,那张曾称我为新兴政治明星的报纸,现在却说我浪费了130万美金在6321张选票上。不要算数字。太丢脸了。
现在,在你们得到错误观点前,这不是一个讲述失败有多重要的演说。也不是说女孩要向前一步。我讲述的故事是,我如何参选国会议员的。因为我只有33岁,这是我人生中第一次,做出真正勇敢的事,没有担心完美。
我不是一个人:太多女士曾告诉我,她们多么被职业和专业吸引,她们知道她们会做得很好,她们知道她们会非常完美,不足为奇。 绝大多数的女孩被教育,来规避风险和失败。我们被教育要有漂亮的微笑,不要冒险,课程拿全A。男孩们,另一方面来说,被教育成要更加勇猛,冲击更高的目标,爬上单杠最高的那层然后往下跳。当他们成长为大人,无论他们是在谈判加薪,或是约某人出去玩,他们习惯于接受一个一个挑战。他们也为此得到回报奖赏。在硅谷有这样的说法,没人把你当回事,除非你创业失败两次以上。另一句话说,我们教育培养女孩子们追求完美,我们教育培养男孩子们要勇敢。
有些人担心我们的联邦赤字,但是,我担心我们的勇气赤字。我们的经济,我们的社会,我们在遭受损失,因为我们没有教育女孩子们要勇敢。勇气赤字就是为什么女性在科学技术工程数学(STEM)领域,在企业高管层,在董事会,在国会,在你所看到的任何地方,都未被充分代表。
在1980年代,心理学家Carol Dweck观察研究了五年级学生,如何处理一项对他们来说太困难的作业。她发现,聪明的女孩们很快就放弃了。智商越高的女孩,放弃的可能性越大。男孩们,将困难的材料视为一个挑战。他们为此精力充沛。他们更倾向于双倍努力。
发生了什么?嗯,在五年级,女孩总的来说比男孩在各个科目的表现都要好,包括数学和科学,所以这不是能力的问题。不同点在于男孩和女孩如何看待挑战。这不止于五年级。一份惠普报告指出,男性会递出工作申请,如果他们只达到60%的招聘要求。而女性,女性只有在100%达到招聘要求的时候,才会递出申请。百分之百。这份研究通常会被作为证据来说,嗯,女性需要更多的自信。但我认为这是证据——说明女性长期被赋予追逐完美,她们太过谨慎了。
即使是当我们雄心勃勃,即使我们向前一步,社会对完美的要求,让我们在职业发展中,选择冒更小的风险。现在,在计算机和科技领域,有六十万个开放申请的工作职位,女性被抛在了后面,这也意味着我们的经济被远远抛在了后面,女性可以解决的创新和难题,如果女性被教育要勇敢,而不是完美。
在2012年,我创办了一家公司,教女孩如何编程,我发现,通过教她们如何编程,我令她们更加勇敢。编程,是一个无止尽的过程,实验和错误,试着将对的指令放在合适的地方,有时只是一个分号,就能决定成功还是失败。编码出错了随后七零八落,时常需要很多很多次试验。直到那个神奇的时刻,你想要搭建的程序完成了。 它需要持之以恒的努力。需要接受不完美。
我们立即发现在项目里,女孩们害怕出错,害怕不完美。每个女孩的指导老师都和我说一样的故事。在第一周,当女孩们试着学习如何编程,一个学生叫她过去,她说到,“我不知道要写那个编码。”当老师看她的屏幕,会看到一个完全空白的界面。如果她不知道原因的话,她也许会想,她的学生在过去的20分钟里,只是盯着屏幕发呆。但如果她点击几下撤销键,他就会看到她的学生,写了代码随后又删掉了它们。她尝试了,她接近目标了,但是她没有完全答对。比起展现她经历的过程,她宁可什么都不展现。要么完美要么什么也没有。
结果显示女孩们非常善于编程,但教给她们如何写代码,是完全不够的。
我的朋友Lev Brie,是哥伦比亚大学的教授,他教授Java编程。他告诉我他对电脑科学学生开放的咨询时间里发生的故事。当男生们艰难应对一个作业的时候,他们会过来然后说,“教授,我编的程序出了点问题。”女生们会过来然后说,“教授,我出了点问题。”
我们必须要撤销对女性社会化的完美主义,我们必须要将这和建立女性支持系统一起,让女孩们知道,她们并不孤单。因为再努力地尝试,也无法修补一个破裂的系统。太多的女性朋友告诉我,
“我害怕举手发言,我害怕问问题,因为我不想做那个,那个唯一不懂的人,那个唯一挣扎的人。当我们教女孩们要勇敢,我们要有支持她们的系统,来鼓励她们,她们会有伟大的成就,我每天都看到这些事。举个例子,两个高中学生制作了一个游戏叫做卫生棉逃亡——(译者注:和游戏”神庙逃亡“谐音)对,卫生棉逃亡——来反对游戏中的月经标记和对女性的歧视。或是叙利亚难民,她展示了对新国家的爱,制作了一款应用程序,让美国人轻松了解民调。或是一个16岁的女孩,她建立了一套运算系统,来帮助测算癌症是良性的还是恶性的,抱着一丝希望能救她,患癌症的父亲。这只是成千上万个例子中的三个,成千上万个女孩被社会化为不完美的,她们学习如何不断尝试,学着如何持之以恒。无论她们未来会成为程序员,或是下一个希拉里·克林顿,或是碧昂斯,她们不会推迟自己的梦想。
这些梦想对我们国家来说是多么重要。对美国的经济,对任何成长中的经济,对真正的创新开发,我们不能丢下半数的人口。我们需要社会化地教女孩们,适应习惯不完美,我们现在开始就要这样做。我们不能等到她们 自己去学习如何勇敢,就像我33岁时那样。我们要教她们勇敢,在学校,在职业起步的时期,在能够影响她们的人生,以及其他人的人生重要的时期,要让她们知道,她们会被爱被接受,不是因为完美,而是因为充满勇气。我需要你们每个人,告诉你认识的每个年轻女士——你的姐妹,你的侄女,你的雇员,你的同事——习惯接受不完美,因为当我们告诉女孩,不必完美的时候,我们帮助她们平衡这样的关系,我们会有更多勇敢的年轻女士,这些女士为她们自己,和我们每个人建立更好的世界。
谢谢。
克里斯·安德森(以下简称CA):Reshma,谢谢你。这是非常强大的憧憬。你很有眼光。现在进行的怎么样了。现在有多少女孩 加入了你的项目活动?
Reshma Saujani(以下简称RS):是的。在2012年,有20个女孩参与。今年,我们有4万名女孩,来自美国50个州。
这个数字真的很厉害,因为去年我们只有7500名女性,拿到电脑科学的学位。问题很严重,所以我们才能快速做出改变。
CA:你和现在会场里一些公司合作,它们欢迎你结业于你的项目的学生吗?
RS:是的,我们有大概80个合作公司 从推特到脸书,还有Adobe,IBM,微软,皮克斯,还有迪斯尼,我是说,每一家公司。如果你还没和我们签合作,我会去找你,因为我们需要每个科技公司都有能够编程的女孩,在他们的办公室工作。
CA:你有一些故事,来自于那些公司,当公司性别更平等的时候,在工程队,有好事情发生。
RS:太棒的事情了。我是说,对我来说这样的事实简直令人发疯,85%的消费行为来自于女性。女性使用社交媒体的比率是男性的六倍。我们拥有网络,我们未来会创建公司。我想,当公司的团队更加多元化,他们的工程队有卓越的女性,他们会建造美好的建筑,我们每天都看到这些。
CA:Reshma,你看到了现场观众的反应。你在做卓越又重要的工作。整个群体都在为你欢呼打气。希望你更加成功。谢谢。
RS:谢谢。
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